All week I thought I was just numb and tired. Now I know I'm just a mess. Last night the searing pain just wouldn't go away. As I sat helplessly staring at the status message that I don't want to see, the pain multiplied as the tears fell. I almost did I was not suppose to do, pick up the phone and call. I wish I was drunk, so I would have at least one lame excuse to break my promise.
Now all I wish is that my heart would just stop beating so this crushing pain that's suffocating me inside would stop too.
Guess my rock bottom is still nowhere in sight. I need to stop this free falling soon because I'm losing myself so fast I don't even understand myself anymore, much less others. The more I try the more I regress. The more I regress the less I understand. The less I understand the more I sink. The more I sink the more struggle. The more I struggle the more I fall.
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