3 prank calls in 2 days, with 1 same number calling both my phones. Coincidence? I think not.
She's lost the plot and her mind; well I lost mine too. Now even that paranoid girlfriend of hers has apparently lost it too.
In a brutal world of people who don't know what they want, cynicism is my defense. Show me a man who means what he say, and I'll show you the fool who believed.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Friday, June 18, 2010
Closure
And just like that, it's all over. She's out of my life, and now all I can do is just cry, asking God questions that I will probably never have answers for.
She's back with her gf, giving things another try, while I'm back to my old shell, still unsure what have I done wrong this time. I gave everything, even my most vulnerable secrets. And now I'm just empty. And alone.
This hurts so fucking much.
She's back with her gf, giving things another try, while I'm back to my old shell, still unsure what have I done wrong this time. I gave everything, even my most vulnerable secrets. And now I'm just empty. And alone.
This hurts so fucking much.
Monday, June 14, 2010
The End
So this is what trying and giving my all get me.
Utter disappointment and loss of self, dignity and will to give again. All I have now are questions and this vacuum in my heart. Questions that I probably will never have answers for, and a void in the heart that will never be filled for a long long time.
I cried myself to sleep last night, and I cried myself awake this morning. 5 minutes to go before my next work meeting and I'm still crying.
God, tell me, what do I do now? Everything I did, I did it for her, but all that isn't good enough, and isn't important anymore. I don't know where else to anchor all my hopes anymore.
I try to look ahead and I see nothing, except memories which used to fill me with warmth and hope but now do nothing more than choke me up, reducing me to a hollow shell with a well of tears and insufferable pain, a finality that all my dreams have now turned into my worst nightmare.
Utter disappointment and loss of self, dignity and will to give again. All I have now are questions and this vacuum in my heart. Questions that I probably will never have answers for, and a void in the heart that will never be filled for a long long time.
I cried myself to sleep last night, and I cried myself awake this morning. 5 minutes to go before my next work meeting and I'm still crying.
God, tell me, what do I do now? Everything I did, I did it for her, but all that isn't good enough, and isn't important anymore. I don't know where else to anchor all my hopes anymore.
I try to look ahead and I see nothing, except memories which used to fill me with warmth and hope but now do nothing more than choke me up, reducing me to a hollow shell with a well of tears and insufferable pain, a finality that all my dreams have now turned into my worst nightmare.
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