Work: Not going anywhere. The same fucking mundane shit might finally hit the fan tomorrow. I don't know why I'm getting all stressed out. It's not like I cared before today. The worst that can happen is I'll just lose a job that I have long ago lost interest in.
Relationship: Non-existent. Convoluted. Trying too hard. Borderline insane. Take your pick. The one person I'm interested in (after 3 years of moving on) is available emotionally, but not physically nor mentally. Not complicated enough? Try this for size - the gf might actually move to KL to be with her too, in which case, my relationship status will be permanently non-existent. When she told me she's excited about it, I almost stabbed myself with a pencil. It certainly felt like I was.
Personal Life: Suffocating. The Bukit Gasing room really hit it home for me. Now I find myself envious of a gay couple who found the courage and companionship to settle down in a home they can truly call their own.
Frame of mind: See Relationship.
I'm such a defeatist right now I can't fucking stand myself. All this self-pity, self-loathing shit makes me wanna fucking puke all over myself, even if it's to wake myself up from one stark reality to another. I know I'll probably read this fan-fucking-tastic post later and hate/regret every single word I wrote but, fuck me, this is my blog and I can fucking deface it with any fucking miserable rant, because it's fucking mine.
This is shaping up to be a bad week.
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