Stupify Me

Is it so wrong to want to belong, to be loved, to be wanted? When we are presented with the opportunity to do what we can vs what we want, what is THE RIGHT THING to do? Do we choose the path of the heart's desires and be true to ourselves, even though it may hurt others we love? Or do we choose the path of righteousness, forever hold our peace and hold back whatever feelings inside and chalk it up to mis-opportunity and bad timing?

You and I, we have a chance to be true to our feelings. But you, you choose righteousness. In your desire to be shoulder your responsibilities, do you realize you have recklessly mishandled my feelings? How many times have I caught you, unmoved from your safety zone but yet still yearning for what's outside. And you know, that all this time, I have been watching. Watching you. Waiting for you.

If you think that I think I'm trying to save you, then you're only half right. I'm trying to save myself too. This heart has been dragged through the mud countless times. And when we started what we started months ago, I know it is going to be another heart wrenching affair. But deep inside, something tells me that perhaps this time, the heart CAN want what it wants. Because all we are doing are just being true to our feelings, are we not? Time may punish fools who believe but patience is always rewarded, is it not? And maybe, just maybe, those unfriendly walls which has for so long swallowed up this yearning heart can finally be broken down. I had to believe.

So how come I feel like the loneliest person on earth today? Is it the deafening emptiness that's echoing within me now that you told me your philosophy of doing right by the book? Or you inability to bridge your own illusion with reality and insist that your hands are tied when it is all there in your hands but you choose the easy way out to just let it all go? Or is it the warm tears streaming down in spite of my heart breaking into pieces in the face of the resurrection of those cold walls of defense again?

You could have fixed me. We could have fixed each other.

But you choose do to what's right. So now your righteousness has left me stupefied in the depths of unfulfilled promises.