Ponder this, bearing in mind that Dufus here claims she is a 40-year-old English tutor, so either she tutors sakai kindergarteners or she's bloody lying. Another reason why I'm never having kids; you just never know.
Dufus: I'm pretty confused with my love life.
Me: Why?
D: I'm attached and living with my gf.
M: And how is that confusing to you?
D: Well, she's andro. And I have a soft spot for femmes.
M: Wait, now I'M confused. If you love your gf, that shouldn't matter. I mean, you haven't done anything crazy, have you?
D: Well I strayed. Had an affair with a femme a couple of months ago.
M: Then maybe it's time to ask yourself how much you love your gf.... wait... are you suggesting that, if you are attached to a femme, this will solve your problem?
D: I don't know la Max, I'm confused.
This is where I begin to regret telling her my name.
M: No offense, but I think it's bs. Are you blaming your problems on the fact that your better half is NOT a femme?
D: I guess so.
Trying hard to contain bewilderment and urge to launch into profanity-laced lecture.
M: You do realize that makes you an arsehole?
D: Why?
REALLY trying hard to contain urge to verbally abuse this douchebag.
M: You're blaming your infidelity on your better half!
D: Is it?
REALLY REALLY trying hard not to physically abuse this douchebag.
M: Consider this - if your better half tells you today that she doesn't love you anymore because you're too butch and she likes femmes, do you think she's perfectly within her rights to blame it all on you?
D: Yea. But I think I get what you mean.
Mentally visualizing self kungfu-kicking this douchebag.
M: Wow this is almost like saying "hey I don't want to be your friend because you're Chinese"! Just admit it - you're not in love with your better half and is just attracted to someone new.
D: I don't know. She is really good to me.
M: You don't marry everyone who's good to you, do you?
D: She loves and cares for me a lot.
Clutching white knuckles.
M: You don't marry everyone who's good to you, do you?
D: She changed her life to be with me, I can't let her down. That's why I'm sticking with her.
M: Then yeah, you're definitely an arsehole LOL. Sorry no offense but I really don't like cheaters.
D: Oh, c'mon. You're a butch too. I'm sure you will be tempted if a femme comes along.
M: I can say proudly, that, I have never swayed nor be tempted by anyone else while I was attached to my ex's. Besides, how is that even relevant? If you love someone, you are committed, regardless of whoever comes in or out of your life. If you are not committed, then you need to be honest and tell her instead of lying to yourself with all that obligatory bullshit. I'm sorry if I'm being too blunt abt this, given that I've just come off a not-so-great experience.
D: I understand.
M: I know it's not easy but I think your gf will appreciate if you are honest and tell her your feelings have changed, rather than force yourself to be with her.
D: But I do love her.
M: You may love someone, but it doesn't mean you are IN love anymore.
D: I know she can't live without me, she really loves me a lot.
M: So will that stop you from straying again?
D: Each time I say I want to leave her, she goes berserk.
M: Then tell her how you feel and what you are going thru. If she accepts it, then fine.
D: She knows about my affairs and other women in my life, but she says that she wants to wait till I change my ways.
Other women?!
M: Oh ok, then all the best of luck to the both of you.
At this point I have lost all will to listen and interest to talk to her.
M: Hey I gotta go. Footy match starting soon.
D: Hey, thanks for your attention.
Err you're not welcome?
M: Thanks fo putting up with my acid tongue lol.
D: You still dislike me?
WTF?!
M: LOL I don't feel any which way abt you.
D: Can we be buddies?
HELL NO!
M: We can catch up and chat again if we see each other online, how's that for a start?
D: Sounds good. I know I'm a cheater, but don't hate me, ok?
Imagine the most flabbergasted facial expression on a face that's banging on the table now.
M: I think my opinions should be the least of your problems.
=====
Just another day at the amusingly fucked-up Fridea universe. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother.
1 comment:
That's a little harsh, don't you think? I get why you don't like cheaters but I don't understand why, just because someone cheats, you feel like they're not humans anymore.
Take this girl you're so in-love with, for example. How is cheating different from what she's been doing to you, pulling you in when she needs company and then kicking you to the curb when her ego has been appeased? She is not any different from a cheater in that she hurts people. And yet you love her, think the world of her, want nothing else than to be with her.
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